Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Vengeance Will Be Mine

Foote and I play practical jokes on each other all the time. I am not sure why but changing his shower from hot to cold is one that never gets old for me I probably do it at least once a week and it is still always funny to me. Another one I do a lot is to use my cell phone to call the house phone so that when Foote gets up to answer the phone I can take the prime place on the couch.

Foote likes to jump out of the dark and scare me which I hate because I can't stand anticipation. I hate when you know something is going to happen but you just don't know when. That is why I can't stand to open those rolls that come in the canister and pop when you peel them down far enough, they make me jump every time. After being married for four years I am surprised that I do not have a nervous twitch from how often Foote has jumped out to scare me. Foote also thinks its hilarious to snarf me, which he explained in a previous post so I won't go into it here lets just say not much fun for the recipient. I have tried to snarf him but I'm always unsuccessful usually because I usually attempt when he is sleeping and start laughing as I get close enough and he ends up waking up and ruining my plans. Well this week I of course turned his shower to cold and once again it was funny. Then later I went upstairs to dry my hair and when I turned on my hair dryer a huge cloud of white sprayed out all over me and it smelled like burnt bread. He filled my hair dryer with flour. Needless to say VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

I've Been Tagged

I was recently tagged by my cousin Maggie to write 7 things about myself and then to tag 7 people, and let me tell you why this is not fair. I don't have 7 connections in the blog world and the ones I do have either tagged me or have already been tagged. This will be a challenge. So on to the 7 things about me.

1. I am the ultimate cheapskate. I am the queen of coupon shopping. I'm addicted. I love getting things for free. Last year I went so overboard with coupon shopping I walked out of King Soopers with 20 cases of Apple Juice for free. The checker kept saying. "I can't believe you are getting all these for free." I am so bad it is hard for me to let Foote pick up anything at the store because I always have to ask "how much did you pay for that." I am getting better. For example, I used to eat at buffets and calculate out exactly how much I would have to eat to pay no more than a dollar a plate. I dress my girls almost completely from craigslist, garage sales and hand-me-downs so often people will say, "Oh that is a cute dress" and my reply would be "oh thanks it was a quarter". It is so bad that one time Foote and I were driving around town and heard on the radio that to celebrate its anniversary Wendys would be offering free junior frostys all day long and I was so upset because Foote refused to go home and get a cooler and just go to different Wendys all day long and stock up on frostys. (probably would have cost twice as much in gas anyways)

2. I am compulsively competitive about really bizarre things. I do pretty good for a while then fall into a relapse. In college I used to have this guy that was in the library at the same time as I was and I would say to myself I can't leave the library before him so there were some nights when I would be completetly done studying but would just stay in the library because he hadn't left yet and I didn't want him to win (of course he had no idea he was part of my little competition). Even now when I go to the gym I find myself looking around at all the other women in the class to make sure I am lifting the most weight or doing the most reps.

3. I am addicted to hot chocolate, but not just any Hot Chocolate, none of this Swiss Miss blah blah or the bland hot water with a hint of chocolate, they might as well call it warmed chocolate flavored tea and you would have to sip it with your pinky extended. And only from about late September to mid-April. We have hot chocolate everynight after we get the kids to bed. (Foote makes the best hot chocolate with different flavors and whipped cream on top) so he makes us both a cup and we either sit out on the porch sipping hot chocolate and talking or watch a movie but, bizarrely when the weather warms up in the spring I am ok to only have an occasional cup until it cools down in the fall.

4. I am an anti-project person which explains why I have never enjoyed crafts. I have tried scrap booking, sewing, crosstich the list goes on and on and I have to admit I find more stress than joy in any of these activities. I hate the feeling that they are never done there is always more you need to do and then there is always a new project to start, its overwhelming. I hate unfinished projects so the best solution for me is to not start them. This applies to my house as well. I know a lot of people like to fix up, paint, and decorate. I have to talk about a project like this for about a year before I can motivate myself to take the plunge.

4a. In relation to number 4, I do make a decent foreman. I'm reasonably skilled at telling Foote what I want done, and Foote is great at completing projects, i.e. the 1 AM Tuesday morning celling fan installation. Me - "can't we just go to bed and finish in the morning?" Foote - "If I don't finish tonight I might not finish for a week and I don't want this continually on my to do list. Besides I'm almost done" Me - "thats what you said at 11:00" Foote - "can you hand me the screw driver" (The above paragraph was inserted by Foote I prefer "project motivator" instead of foreman)

5. I have not consistently slept through the night in over five years. In college I worked on a janitorial team and had to be up at 3:00 to get to work. When I came home from school I worked at a company from 11pm to 7am. When Foote and I were first married we both threw a paper routes at about 3AM. I had Aly and as soon as she was sleeping through the night I picked up a route again until I was 8mos pregnant with Brooklyn and now I am up most of the night with her. I think my body has permanently adjusted.

6. I have a bizarre ability to make anything electronic or technological stop working or begin working strange it is kind of like a super power (I should be on Heroes) I can't control though and it drives Foote crazy because his life revolves around these types of things. Just a few examples. He gave me a camera that worked great and than after I used it for about a week the batteries would only last about an hour. My iPod, after using my powers on it I could push play and it would take me back to the main menu and I would have to search for the play list I wanted all over again. For a while it seemed like every night I would have to get Foote to fix my laptop because my electro magnetic aura confused it to the point that it could no longer connect to the internet or print or some other malfunction. Even the car, after I drove it for a couple weeks the blinkers quit working, and this is where it gets weird, Foote would drive it and they would work, then I would drive it again and they would work a couple times and quit again until I my invisible forces completely overpowered it, now it won't even work for Foote. But sometimes when he puts on the blinker the check engine light flashes on the dashboard as if it is trying to indicate the direction we are turning. I can't even count how many times he has said "What did you do?" "How do you break everything?" If only I could find a way to harness this power and use it to benefit humanity.

7. I love heels or high shoes in general. I think it is because I was suppose to be 5'9 with long legs but someone messed up and I am 5'7 with short legs. I remember I used to make my little brother Dan pull on my legs hoping that the constant stretching would add another couple inches and if he pulled on one leg more than the other I would accuse him of plotting to make me lopsided but alas (always wanted to use that phrase) I am still 5'7. My solution has been to wear two inch heels and long jeans and just pretend like I am 5'9 with long legs.

So now it is my turn to tag others I am going to tag all my sisters-in-law (Kari, Jenny and Shanda) because I am really curious to know what seven things they would pick about themselves. I am also going to tag Foote which might sound cheesy, but when it comes to things like this even after being married for four years I find his responses entertaining and am still sometimes surprised (plus it means he has to update the blog next hahaha).